Friday, February 7, 2014

Missing Mom

When we invited Mom to come in December, we told her to stay as long as she liked.  It’s possible that someday Mom will decide to sell her home in Pa to come and live with us in Indiana permanently.

So her visit was kind of a test run to see how things would go.

By things, I mean dynamics.

Two teenagers and a nine-year-old drama king create the dynamics of an ocean.   One minute it’s calm.  And the next there are waves threatening to bash our family boat into the rocks.   

I wasn’t sure how I would feel when a storm rolled in for mom to witness.  In the end, we did weather a few storms in front of her.  


During one heated argument, Mom quietly left the couch and went to her bedroom. 

I wondered if the irrational waves of my 16 year old were going to drown us all. Or if it was really my white-knuckled grip on our rules that would kill us.  I pictured myself clinging to the anchor as it sunk beneath the surface.  Should I just let go?  

Later, she and I talked about it.  She had wanted to give us privacy and I understood.  But I told her that my husband and I wanted her to feel free to share (or not share) as she felt lead.  Her insight would always be welcome.  She needn’t retreat.  We intended to treat her like one of the family.  Because she is. 

As far as the boys go, the trick is to find that balance where they feel free to be themselves but know the rules don’t change just because Grandmom is visiting.  And to keep my expectations real.

Balancing these dynamics was one of the hardest parts of having Mom here.  


Thankfully, there were way more fun times than storms.  Mom kept me company through most of the boys’ soccer practices and games.

The Saturday before the Big Freeze, she and I took the hour and a half between games to find her some warmer clothes at a nearby Goodwill. 

We zoomed though the isles grabbing anything warm in her size.  When we had a cart full, she headed to the dressing room where I’m pretty sure she set a record for the most clothes tried on in a ten minute span.  She came out with 5 keepers and about 25 not-happenings. 

We flew through the checkout and sped back to the gym where my impatient and fuming young soccer players jogged in just in time for their next game.

As Mom and I slumped into our seats to watch the game, I looked over at her.  Her hair was still wild from yanking clothes on and off, and I couldn’t snorting a laugh. 

“I’m exHAUSted.” She said. 

And we laughed until tears were running down our faces. 

Pleasant Snowed-In Very Cold Days

The boys had an extra week off because of the frigid temps and snow.  We played some scrabble, put together a few puzzles, watched seasons 1-3 of Downton Abby, and I tried to keep up with Mom as she flew through several good books from our kindle library.

It was so nice having her company those five weeks.  The time went by way too quickly. 

She has a ton of wisdom and life experiences that my boys were only just beginning to tap.

I can honestly say, my mom is the sweetest lady I know.  I wouldn’t trade her for anything. 

And I’m already wondering when I can make the trip to go get her again.  :)

I know she needed to get home. 

But miss her.  It was nice having another female in the house.

With her power and phone lines down from the ice storm, I’ve only been able to talk to her once since Monday.  She is in the area hardest hit in Pennsylvania.  She’s fine.  But keep all those lineman in prayer!  I can’t imagine the dangerous mess they have to deal with.

I’m so ready for SPRING!!  :)


Mari said...

I can see that having someone in the house all the time would bring up issues like that. Sounds like it was handled well by all of you though!
I am so ready for Spring too! I'm sick of shoveling, sliding and just plain freezing!

Cheryl J said...

It was so nice to hear an update about your Mom's visit. I hope by now she has her power back.