Thursday, March 19, 2009

This Is For the Birds

For two weeks now, this cardinal has been flying into my window.

Thump(one thousand)...thump (one thousand)...thump (one thousand)...thump (one thousand)...thump.

For the first five minutes, you say, "Aaaaw, look at the cardinal. How funny!"

But after several hours, which turn into several days, the monotonous thumps can do something to you. It is subtle, but it's there.

Yet, while my four year old had transitioned quite quickly into yelling at him to stop, I was priding myself on my patience to endure the annoyance. (No small thing)

My husband had occasion to go in to work late on Monday, and therefore had his first chance to experience the bird's day job.

I had no sooner gotten back from taking the boys down to the bus stop and sat down at my computer, when I hear a BoWOOM!

By the time I bolted from my desk and headed towards the kitchen, my husband was just walking in through the door with his shotgun. His SHOTGUN!

Now far be it from me to make any judgement calls on the patience of my husband, but a SHOTGUN??? Jimmity Crickets!

"You didn't just shoot that bird did you??"

"No, I missed him."

"What on earth were you thinking? You don't just SHOOT the STATE BIRD while he's sitting on our feeder in broad daylight!"

My four year old had run outside to make certain the annoying little bird was indeed safe.

I was seriously thinking I needed to change the combination on our gun safe. . . maybe look into some kind of anger management class for my normally very level-headed husband.

The bird, however, was unaffected. TOTALLY unaffected. He was back banging on the window before we had even finished discussing the matter.

Only, now he was banging on back window...right next to my computer. Gee, thanks, Honey.

Eye-Yi-Yigh!

Thump (one thousand)...thump (one thousand)...thump (one thousand)...thump (one thousand)...thump (one thousand) ...thump...!

It's been a (LONG) full two weeks. The banging continues. The mating season or whatever in the world has got this bird throwing himself at our window has GOT to end soon, right???

I'm now thinking my husband might want to change the gun safe combination to keep the firearms out of MY hands. I'm a much worse shot and there are things out there which probably shouldn't be shot.

To make matters worse, his buddy Blue Bird came down the chimney yesterday to mock me.

I was just tickled (oh yeah) to have to figure out a way to get this pretty little conspirator out of the fireplace and outside without destroying the rest of the house in the process.

I need a vacation. A very long and quiet vacation.

A few hours on the gun range wouldn't hurt either.


4 comments:

Penny said...

ROTFL!!!! My DH nearly tried that on the neighbor's howling dog once! I managed to talk him out of it. Have you tried putting a window cling or something on the window to distort his reflection?

Holly said...

Okay, that's funny and a bit strange (the bird). Don't birds get injured slamming into windows? I was going to suggest the same thing as the previous commenter...put something on the window. Have you tried ear plugs?

Raise Them Up said...

Actually, the two windows he has chosen to fly into both have a UV reflective film applied. It makes the window reflective from the outside--which is probably what attracks him. He is seeing "another" bird, himself!

Anyway, I tried putting something on the window, but it just isn't visible from the outside.

Yesterday, I went through several garden centers looking for an owl figure. Maybe he wouldn't hang out if an owl was watching him??

And he is still hitting the window...even as I type. In fact, he has escalated to Whap, Whap, Whap! With hardly a second between.

HEY! What about a rubber snake?? A friend uses rubber snakes on her pool to keep the birds from landing (and pooping) on the sides.

I have one of those somewhere. I'll let you all know how it works!!!!

pausten said...

That is crazy. Maybe you should remove the reflective film? If he sees a face instead of himiself that'll fix him for sure. Oh and do change that combination... :-)