Monday, February 2, 2009

Speaking A Foreign Language

This weekend, without a single (recent) grumble-nag-fit from me, my husband sorted through, straightened up, and cleaned out his computer room (AKA: The Computer Artifacts Museum And Complete Spare Parts From A-Z Warehouse).

For those of you who have seen this room, you will understand how much effort went into it when I say that there is now nothing on the floor--nothing--anywhere--and the kelly green carpet has been fully exposed and vacuumed.

That in and of itself was huge. But he didn't stop there.

He vacuumed the entire house.

He made the boys clean up their room (including their disgusting bathroom sink which had petrified globs of toothpaste dotting the terrain).

He sucked the dust off their ceiling fan.

He supervised the cleaning of the playroom.

AND, he picked up dish washer detergent at Wal-mart on his way home from church (I had a meeting afterwards). Praise The Lord!! I was down to my last two load's worth of powder!!

He even shoveled the heavy wet snow off a flat part of our roof to keep the water from backing up under the shingles.

And the icing on the cake? He remembered to pick up a Sunday paper for me since they would be all gone by the time I left my meeting.


To me, it was a birthday present come early. It was a giant Valentines Card--No, A big box of chocolate! An "I love you!" in neon lights. There is absolutely nothing he or the boys could have done that would have spoken "love" to me more--because my love language is Acts of Service. I feel loved most when someone does something to help me out.

My husband's is different then mine, so it made the work he did extra meaningful to me.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm speaking of what Gary Chapman defines in his book The Five Love Languages.

In his book, he suggests that we each convey and receive love primarily in one of five ways:
  • Quality time
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch
Often, the giver and receiver express love in different ways (as in the case of my husband and me). If you don't know and speak his or her special "love language" you might as well be speaking a foreign language to them.

Understanding this can be life changing--for husbands and wives, for parents and children, and virtually every kind of relationship.

To find out your primary love language, or that of your loved ones, you can take this 30 second quiz .

I highly recommend his book, or any of the others he has written on the topic. If you go here, you'll find all his books on the topic, including one on the love languages of children, and teens and their audio book versions on CD's--which are awesome! My favorite is the one for children. I'd highly recommend it not just for parents, but for anyone who works with children.
Incidentally, any of these would make a great study for Small Groups, as well.

1 comment:

Kathy said...

I know you posted this in February, but I just had to read it. I love it!!! Way to go, Dad & hubby. Acts of service are also everything to me. I too love the book you referenced. I love your writing, so I'll keep reading if that's ok with you. : ) God's Best and Best and Best for you all!