A Mom’s Facebook Dilemma: To Tattle or Not To Tattle

As kids, we all had times where we had to decide…Should I tattle or not…? 

Facebook pages now offer us more opportunities to agonize.  My friend sent me the following guest post, and boy, can I relate!  I bet many of you can too!   

I’m in a conundrum.

I am connected on Facebook with the child of a friend, and I don’t like what I see.  I’m sure my friend would not like it either. 

But, this parent is one of those people who throws up her hands and says, “I hate computers”.  She’ll use one at work, but keeps it out of her personal life.  So, I see what her child is doing on Facebook, and she doesn’t. 

I’m left wondering,  do I tell my friend what I see?  Or do I just let it go?

The phenomenon of technology is really new ground for parents.  My parents didn’t have to monitor my online activities, cell phone or texting.  When I was a teenager, texting didn’t exist and few people owned cell phones.

The internet?  I think it was this bizarre thing that only real computer geeks used. 

Part of me thinks that if my friend really wanted to know what her child was doing, she’d get on a computer. After all, isn't it a parent's duty to know what her child is doing? 

The other part of me understands why she chooses not to.  I’ve recently deactivated my own Facebook account, because it is a drama creator and a time sucker.

I also haven’t seen this friend in a very long time.  She could be very aware of her child’s actions, and a message from me could just be rubbing salt in a wound, or she could wonder why I'm not minding my own business.

Today I received news from an acquaintance about some misbehavior on my child’s part.  I wasn’t where he was at the time, so I didn’t see it.  It’s nothing major, but it is behavior that is unacceptable and could become dangerous.  I’m grateful that I was notified and I can address this issue with with my child.

Which brings me back to my conundrum. 

I think I have my answer.  I think I’ll reactivate that Facebook account too, so my child knows that momma is watching.

--Mom 2 Boys

I agree!  Although I rarely post a status for myself, I try to keep an eye on my son’s page.  And he knows it.  Because we made a family rule when he signed up that I would have his password and complete access to his page.

One time, I noticed he messaged a friend about something he thought might cause trouble.  I was proud that he not only thought about the consequences.  But that he handled it so discretely.  

Still, I think it’s wishful thinking that “friends messaging friends” will keep our kids out of trouble.

The few times I forced myself to take a chance and talk to a parent, they each thanked me.  However, I’m not certain to this day whether they REALLY appreciated it, or were secretly annoyed with me for butting-in.  (Maybe they were both!)  But I followed my heart.

And let’s not forget about how whatever we do affects the relationships among our children.  

I’m not seeing any easy answers. 

But I do know we need to pray for our kids and their friends. 

What do you think about the facebook minefield? 

I’m guessing that if you haven’t been there yet, you probably will be at some point!

 

 

About Mom 2 Boys 

I was one of those girls who loved all things pink and frilly. My grandparents owned a beach house near the former beach house of the family of Grace Kelly. I became a big fan, and really believed that a girl like me could grow up to become a princess. I married my "prince charming", who didn't come with the official title. We became the parents to two very active boys. Now "pink" is a bit sparse in my life, although I often wear the color and enjoy listening to the pop star. My childhood didn't prepare me for the role of Mom-to-boys, so I'm learning as I go.

They Took Charge, And In The Process Changed History.

Guest Post by Mom 2 Boys.

“They’re heroes”. 

That was my immediate thought.  But the men and women of Flight 93 may disagree with me.  See, they only did what they felt they had to do on that September day.  Their plane had been hijacked, and they were hearing about others that had been flown into the Word Trade Center earlier.

If I were on that plane that day, I’m sure I would have been thinking about how I would get off of it alive, so I could kiss my husband and hug my children and go on living my life.  I’m sure I would have gone along with the plan because it seemed to be the best option to live, because I had no other choice. 

I wonder, did those passengers think about the lives they would be saving by keeping that plane from it’s destination?  I don’t know.   I know I wouldn’t have.  I would have been trying to save my own life. 

Yet, those men and women failed in that attempt. The plane they were traveling in slammed into a Pennsylvania field and killed every one of them.  I call them heroes.  Maybe you do too.

If they could talk to us from that fiery grave, they might say, “but we failed.” 

Heroism was thrust upon them.  They didn’t ask for it; they probably would have said, “No, thank you.  Pick someone else to be a hero today.”   Instead, they did what they felt they had to do, because it seemed to be their only option. 

But really, isn’t that what makes someone a hero?  They didn't sit back and let something happen to them.  They took charge, and in the process changed history.

About Mom 2 Boys 

I was one of those girls who loved all things pink and frilly. My grandparents owned a beach house near the former beach house of the family of Grace Kelly. I became a big fan, and really believed that a girl like me could grow up to become a princess. I married my "prince charming", who didn't come with the official title. We became the parents to two very active boys. Now "pink" is a bit sparse in my life, although I often wear the color and enjoy listening to the pop star. My childhood didn't prepare me for the role of Mom-to-boys, so I'm learning as I go.

*    *    *

Mom 2 Boys has been a dear friend of mine since college.  We married men from the same singles group, and laughed as God proceeded to bless our families alternately with FIVE boys.  We often joke that we could switch places and neither we nor our kids would know the difference!

I’m not done telling you about our trip.  However, since her thoughts were triggered by my post about the Flight 93 Memorial, I wanted to share them while that was somewhat fresh.  Her honesty in this piece is thought provoking.  I have to agree with her about where my thoughts would have traveled, had I been there that day.  What about you? 

In the end, I believe it was God who graced these people with the courage to do something.  And it was God’s grace which allowed their desperate actions to prevent greater destruction and loss of life.   I agree.  People rarely say, I’m going to be a hero.  Rather, hindsight reveals the difference they made--often by the grace of God.  Or, I guess I should say, always by the grace of God.  Because His grace is always at work, whether we acknowledge it or not.  :)

I’d love to hear your thoughts on what makes a hero!   Has a hero ever touched your life—either directly, or indirectly?